Still Living, Still Changing, Still Challenging.

 We are settling in the new office in London. I have been vaccinated against the dreaded COVID-19. On arrival Zahir played a "funny" joke on me. We took a cab and headed into a place called King's Cross. We stopped in front of this narrow barge like boat and he announced, "We are home!" 

 When I tell you it was small, I felt HUGE inside it. The bedroom section barely fits a full size bed. I guess I got used to being able to spread out. I was missing the house in Amman. When I forced to smile Z saw right through me. "Baby this is temporary. It is just until the new flat is fitted for you." Then he told me it was just joke and only for two nights.

 

 The next morning we went and toured the new flat in Nine Elms. We can see the U.S. Embassy from the master. It is in walking distance. We have everything in walking distance. This was a mandatory item for Zahir. When I work from home, I stay in the flat. If I need anything during the day, I have to go through the concierge and it is brought to me. I miss being able to escape to my garden in Amman. I know he is all about "Baby's" safety, after all that is why we left Jordan. Still it is lonely.

 

 The threats when he came out were bad enough. Then there was the coup attempt. To say that the Bedu love their king is a monumental understatement. I have no doubt that if the foreign backed coup was "successful" Jordan would have fallen into open civil war. I know Z is not happy having to move, but I know he would move the earth to keep me safe.

 

 Then came the big surprise. When he opened the door, I realized it was an apartment that I re-designed on paper three months ago. Back then it was made to appear that I was dealing with the most vague client in the world. I was given a spec sheet and a basic floor plan. Our boss told me, "He wants you to just make it smashing! Strip it to the studs and rebuild. Let yourself go!" 

 

 There is a private guest suite for his mother when she visits. Z says that will be often. I am still rushing to fully unpack, my Aunt Meg, Meemaw and Pawpaw will be visiting in a few weeks. In July we will be going to  meet with another surgeon, this time in Leipzig, Germany. Yes, Zahir has found me a new therapist who I see once a month or as needed. 

 

 I pass by Buckingham Palace and Hyde park to attend church. Zahir and I have joined a gym, a skydiving club, and a few business organizations. "It is all about the connections Baby." I seam to recall he said something similar when he and the Boss pushed (guided) me into accreditation.

 

 My sweet Kaleeb traveled with us and was in health isolation for a few weeks. I do not know how much paperwork Zahir had to do to bring my baby, but I am grateful. We got to see him daily while he was in lockup. We have chosen a dog walker who has experience with Malinois. Arba'ah's company vetted her thoroughly that alone took three weeks. She is a university student studying chemical engineering. I have offered to help out if she needs it. She picks Kaleeb up from me at the office or the flat. Z doesn't want me out on my own in this city."We are new here. You cannot even call-out for help." I know he is worried for my safety but this is a bit over the top. In time he will mellow.

 
 This is the second country I've lived in outside the United States. It is so different from Amman that I'm having no small measure of culture shock. Still the people are welcoming and nice. The dampness is causing a problem, I am silent more often than not.

 

 That has brought up another issue, I am going to have to learn another sign language. British Sign Language is greatly different from ASL. The sign for mute drawing the tips of your index and middle fingers to your lips. Zahir teases me saying it looks like I am asking for a smoke.

 

 I have tried to use the glove based speech translator. It is not well received, so I will muddle through and adapt. My big goofy guy says we will learn together and he will be my voice. He can read my fingers when I use ASL and Levantine Arabic Sign Language (LASL).

 

 Some would ask why bother to learn BSL? We have on occasion had a deaf client and it was I who became Zahir and the Boss's voice. We are living in Great Britain it would be wrong and rude to force MY language upon them. Finally, experience has proven there will be times when I have to speak for myself.

 

 Our German, Dutch, and British clients are over the moon that we opened the new office, even if Brexit does muck up the works a bit. We will start crossing the Atlantic to consult with our American (North, Central, and South) clients.

The Bullies Won...

 It has been decided we will be leaving Jordan. However opening a design bureau in the U.S. has been ruled out by the company's owner. He is concerned with the short term political and economic uncertainties facing the United States at this time.

 

 If I were if I were a betting man, like the big guys! I would be leaning towards the UK, Spain, or Germany. So other than the fact that we are leaving, everything else is uncertain right now. Zahir is not happy but he's putting a brave face on in front of me. 

Chase

Backlash... New Talent... Turning 21...

 I guess it was inevitable... I am so proud that Zahir doesn't want to hide me and our marital status anymore. That said there has been a price, things have gotten weird here. We have been receiving threatening calls. Mama and I are not allowed to answer them without screening first.

 I apologized to Mama for changing her world. She responded with more love. She says the "friends" who have fallen away, were not real friends in the first place. 

 A couple weeks ago I was sent home with security after a suspicious package arrived at the office. Neither the boss or Zahir will tell me what was in it. A few days later I was allowed to return to the campus after new security was put in place. 

 A few of my buddies have asked if we are leaving Jordan. I know they are concerned with my safety. The brothers met to discuss the topic of leaving Jordan as well. Of course, I was not a "direct" contributor to their discussion.

 Something odd happened, while Mama and I were making snacks. The brothers took a break and Z took me to our suite. For the first time he asked my opinion on something serious. I told him the people who are harassing us are bullies. I have some experience dealing with bullies. I know they have to be opposed or they win and become bolder. In order for change to occur someone has to be brave enough (KNOWING the risk) to stand. I also said it was NOT my place to make the change. 

 Although I call this country my home, I am not a Jordanian or Bedu (hubby disagreed). I told him that however he chose for us, I would stand with him. Long story short, regardless of the cost, we are staying.

 Zahir had to go on a business trip because of the destination, he had to go without me. He gave me permission to go with the boss to Monaco we are re-designing a casino. There is a lot of structural work that has to happen. Calculating load points on the fly is my specialty. We had a real good first meeting with the client.

 That night the boss wanted to hit the casino. He gave me a little stack of chips to mess around with. Found out I SUCK at poker!!! I do not have the "poker face" needed. However, I do REAL well at twenty-one. Z got an alert on my bank account when I deposited my winnings. It seams my math gift works real good at odds calculations. The boss stayed very close to me for the next three trips to the casino. 

 It's nice proving I can contribute to our family's assets.

 The boss will be taking me on another trip next week... Hint it is VERY cold there and there are huge travel restrictions. We will be isolated for two weeks waiting to talk to the client. Then another two weeks of isolation when we get home. This client insists on face to face contact. Zahir will be in the field too, just not with us. 

 The boss is trying to keep Zahir and I on the same travel timelines to minimize our separation. He has become like another father to me. The boss is determined to get me certified and accredited as swiftly as possible. I am not sure but, I think he wants to use Z and I as the company front men for our work in Europe and the States.

And on the topic of twenty-one... I have turned it! The celebration was low-key. Got to chat with the grandparents, Officer Mike and dispatcher John. The party was no booze, just fun, family and food. 

  I got a cute "not for public" gift from Z. 

 The bottom line (no pun intended) I am still here and fabulous!

My Meeting with Death...

 Sorry that it has been so long. I have been too busy. I thought things would get easier after college... I was wrong. I have met many deadly things in Jordan, but NOTHING prepared me for this...

 Between working, moving and learning to manage the bigger house and staff, I have also become Mama's taxi service. She is taking me everywhere. For the most part I still get introduced as her "adopted" son. Other times there is often a wink or a nod when I am introduced as Zahir's boy.

 When I take her to her charity meetings I am "HER" boy. A few weeks back Mama had a charity board meeting. That day Z told me to follow her lead and not be confrontational. He actually said this as we were headed out, "Behave my baby, and do not stress. My mother will never jeopardize her favorite daughter-in-law." If he had any fillings, I swear she would have rattled them with the slap he earned. Mama hits hard.

  When we arrived, all was chill till this older lady came in with her assistant. I was sitting off to the side having a plate of cookies and some tea. Somehow I became the topic of conversation. I was not intending on listening in, but it was a small room, and I did tune in and out.

 The assistant to the angry looking woman had been shooting me some heavy shade. I could see the hate rolling off her. Serious if her eyes were daggers, I would have been dead. One of the other ladies mentioned she knew a girl who was perfect for me. A couple of the other ladies chimed in.

 That was when the bitch goddess rubbed the third finger of her left hand and said, "Shouldn't we ask its 'sugar daddy.'" ('umurat baba - had to search that one.)

 The room was dead silent for what felt like hours but was actually only seconds. That was when the first clap back hit. "Perhaps if you were a better wife, he (Zahir) would still be your husband." Some of the others jumped in too. Mama hung back and watched the other women verbally rip her former daughter-in-law to shreds. It was brutal, I learned a few new words. Girls can get mean!

 Without looking, her boss said, "How shameful it must be for you to be out woman-ed by such a polite hard working boy. He understands your tongue and yet does not lower himself to your level." Then Ms. Bughi (learned that word means wench) stormed out. I will never understand how a beautiful thing, can be so ugly.

 I signed to Mama asking if she was upset and wanted to leave. "Absolutely not. Enjoy your treats." Then the women returned to the business at hand. A few occasionally added a suggestion of a woman or two who would like and "understand" me.

 When the meeting was over Mama and I gave the now rideless older woman a lift home. Turns out she is a big lawyer here. She and Mama sat in the back and chatted. When we got to her building she apologized for the bad behavior of her staff member. I told her it was ok. I also said it would be wrong to blame her for the words of another.

When Mama gave her report to Zahir he laughed. Then he told me I had survived death once again. It seams that one of her middle names is Azrael (عزرائيل‎). That is also the name of "The Angel of Death" in Islam. Who gives crappy names like this to their kids! Someone named their little princess after the Angel of Death... Perhaps they could see the future. 

 I owe a huge thank you to my buddy in Texas. Emri  is republishing one of my favorite stories (his Kasper story.) Today's chapter stung Z a bit. He likes reading them out loud to me. Afterwards we usually snuggle and stuff.

 Today he asked if I thought HE was ashamed of me. I have said before while it is not illegal, it is not safe to be out here, especially if you are the bottom. I told him I understood when I said I do, there would be limits. He kissed my forehead and I thought it was over. He told me to shower and went to the closet picking out clothes for us.

We had dinner at one of the most expensive places in town. We have been there before, a lot actually. This time he treated me like a real date. He fawned on me. He was holding my hand and rubbing my ring finger. It earned a few nods and smiles, from both ex-pats and locals alike. We also drew a few ugly looks too. Still, it was the best date night EVER.

 I guess we are out... Not too loud, but very proud of my guy!

Night y'all

Chase

Good News and "Meh" News

I had my final visit to the cardiologist on Sunday. My heart is strong and sound. There are no signs remaining of the bruising it took two years back. I had an unfortunate incident a couple years ago with the "Deathstalker" scorpion, and a bad reaction to the Anascorp antivenom. For the record Zahir is still insane when it comes to my EPI-Pens. I found at least two in every room in our house, when I was packing for the move into the big house.

This visit was bittersweet. The appointment was originally scheduled for Baba and I. My doctor requested "Z" NEVER to be present during my stress tests. Being in the same room with him does funny things to my heartbeat. Not a joke... it literally skips beats when he talks... hell when he looks at me I have a flutter.

Zahir's oldest brother was supposed to take us. With his father's death being so recent I can understand that he just couldn't. I offered to drive myself. Yes, I do have a license now.

Side note: Zahir likes seeing the "normal" parts of my past. Officer Mike sent us videos from back when I was training with the Department's Explorers Post. Z laughed during the video of me driving the department's armored vehicle during EVOC training. He stopped laughing when "tiny little me" climbed into the drivers seat and put the beast through its paces. Even Arba'ah, Z's security expert slightly older brother was impressed.

After seeing the video, Zahir relented on letting me drive. He got me a cute little BMW SUV. I tried to push for the stick shift. Z said no, "...too much work for my baby." He thought it was too much for a new driver in this country to handle. He is right I guess.

All that said, since the incident with the local police, Zahir is not letting me out of the property without an escort, so the car sits idle much of the time. I've taken Mama to market and stuff like that. I cannot even take myself to church. End note

Zahir also reminded me one of the requirements of the stress test was that I had to have a designated driver. His older brother Arba'ah took me. He's a riot, he shares Z's sense of humor. The two of them are only 11 months apart and they look almost like twins. I do confess there has been an occasional dirty thought. Nothing I would ever act on.

For one thing his wife scares me, in a good way. She is militantly protective of her family... think pit-bull with rabies, if you are stupid enough to cross her. She's one of the wives who both accepts me as I am and as part of her family. I would never violate that trust.

The doctor's visit also gave us some answers. Nothing all that devastating, and nothing we can fix. It falls into the category of, it is what it is. Z says he is happy... me, not so much. On the good side, I may grow another inch or so.

Although Z said my health report was his best birthday gift, I still surprised him with an ornate platinum ring. Until you read the inscription it doesn't look like a wedding ring. The inscription is, "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine.

Goodnight y'all,

Chase

MORE... Changes!!!

 Yup! We are moving(again)!

 This is what I get for marrying a man of nomadic Bedu heritage. KIDDING! We are just going across the garden courtyard this time. With Baba's passing Zahir's brothers asked him to move into the big house to care for Mama.

 Not sure if I described the big house. This place is HUGE. Far bigger than the old compound in Al-Salt. I was not joking when I said I get lost in the place. I'd try breadcrumbs but I know the boys would eat them.

 Our boss had the compound built on family land to keep the peace between his four wives. There are several large common lounges connecting the four suites (think really big apartments) so each wife could manage her section of the house. The youngest wife didn't like her fellow brides so the boss built the "little" house across the courtyard to restore peace. Baba told me "Just because we can, does not imply we should marry more than one woman."

 My "boy cave" when Z is out of country on business is in the guest wing near the pools. Z is deciding on which of the other two will be ours. He said it would not be "proper" for the man of the house to be in the small suite. That leaves the sisters old suite or the front suite. Mama offered us the other front suite, both of us said NO!

 When you combine all of the kitchens on the property we have more kitchen space than most of the big restaurants in Amman. Those women must have truly hated each other for the boss to lay out that kind of money. I see why polygamy while permitted is seldom practiced in Islam. Less than .01% of Muslim marriages are polygamous.

 

 Baba used to say those who had two or more wives were selfish. We had a talk when he thought I was "just confused" about my sexuality. He said, "Think of it little one... look to the math." Math was our common language, and his answer to EVERYTHING. "Currently 35% of Muslims are single and most of those are men, why? Math, boy math! Only about 50% of Muslims are women. If a man marries three wives what are the other two men to do?" I guess there are parts of Zahir's faith I will never understand. I miss Baba, he was my go to guy when I was confused by things I couldn't bring to Z.

 

 Z is giving his baby sister and her hubby our house. That is MINUS our furniture. Zahir is giving Yawm the media room gear. <for those who haven't caught on to Zahir speak yet... Translation: "Baby has a project."> She and I are going through the big house tagging furniture to fill her new nest. This weekend the brothers are coming over to swap the furniture.

 Today Kaeleb started demanding my attention traditional sign for, "I need to potty hooman." As we hit the kitchen he made a hard left towards the guest suite that holds my "boy cave." He led me straight to my room. I found Mama napping in my bed. Shamal the other indoor maligator (Kaeleb's litter mate) alerted when I peeked in the door waking Mama. She said she felt at peace in my room and it was too painful sleeping in her suite without Baba. I told her to use it any time.

 On to the weird front, Mama and my boys are developing a strange friendship. Malinois are uber-high energy animals. Occasionally they will break into what I call zoom mode. They start chasing each other at high speed. It normally continues until I open the door an throw the Kong 15 billion times. This is the case... EXCEPT when Mama enters the room.

 

 I have seen the boys in mid zoom and then Mama walks in. Suddenly the boys become furry throw rugs. They lay on the ground and bury their nose with their front paws. It is the damnedest thing to see. It looks like they are praying to her!

 Shamal has been glued to Mama since Baba died. I think he feels her pain. The irony is Shamal was the anti-social loner of the litter.

 

 I thought life would get easier after graduation. It has NOT been the case. Memaw and Pawpaw are asking me to visit them in Paducah, KY. Is it wrong when you have to spell-check your birthplace? They are worried about da-rona and my access to "proper" healthcare. It's as if they think Amman is some primitive poo-hole! I have received better care here than I did growing up in Miami. They worry about me. I guess that is a good thing.

 

 It's almost 2300 I should be asleep.

 Love and peace

 Chase

We Have Lost Our Polaris

 While everyone was worried about COVID-19, we lost our guide star. Baba the leader of our tribe has gone to his reward. Three years ago he had a heart attack, and I helped him recover. Yesterday, we woke to find he had a massive one in his sleep.

 There will be changes, for now we are focusing on saying good bye to our patriarch. I wanted to avoid learning this part of Bedouin culture for some time.

 We rushed to ensure he was buried before sunset. Zahir told me the body is buried as soon as possible and always within 24 hours. We didn't know exactly when he departed so it was decided by the eldest brother it had to happen before the sun went down.

 - Nadir

I Pulled One Over On The Big Guy!

 My poor baby has been concerned ever since my incident with the police. He has been cuddling me a lot and I would say coddling me a bit too much.

 For a split second at breakfast, I let my happy demeanor drop. He noticed and immediately asked what can I do to "make my baby feel better." Without missing a beat, I pulled up on my acting training. I looked at him and squeaked out, "I want to get my nose pierced."

 The look on his face was priceless. He quickly replied that his baby had a sufficient number of holes for a good boy. I tried to double down on my thespian skills and replied, "What if I don't want to be a good boy anymore?" At which point he busted out laughing. The spell was broken, he knows me too well.

Z says "WE" are planning a trip when it is safe to leave the nest.  I am hoping it involves jumping out of a plane.

Chase

Things Here Are Getting Weird

 Sorry sorry for no updates in a while. Things have gotten a little crazy here. I am starting to think it's not a safe time to be a foreigner living in Jordan. For years now I thought this was my home...

 I was running an errand for Mama. I screwed up and left Kaleeb at the house.  It was just a trip to the store on the corner. I didn't think I needed him. A national police officer approached. He demanded my ID and then took me to the station. He didn't understand sign. He took my tablet away from me, I couldn't communicate that way. Playing charades across cultural barriers is not easy. I was a thoroughly search. In the end he called Baba.

 When Baba came, they said I looked like someone they were looking for in regards to a drug trafficking case. Baba was incensed, with how they treated his son's child. Yes, Z had to adopt me to solve some legal issues. I have never seen Baba so mad.  I was pleading with my fingers to just let it go and take me home. In the end he calmed down, I got dressed and we were allowed to leave. For the first time since I got here I missed Florida.

 When Z got home the rage began again. Mama tried to keep everyone calm. In the end she realized the only one she had a chance of calming was me. She and Z' sister took me aside and told me what the government had been reporting. The Justice Ministry is blaming foreigners for an uptick in crime. The irony is drug crimes committed by non-Jordanians has actually gone down this year.

I am no longer allowed to leave the compound alone.

---

 It seams Z and I may be relocating. I found out when Mama said how Zahir's sister and her husband the nurse could move into the little house. It would be good especially now that she is making babies. Well done Yawm newly married and the first kid on the way.

The boss is talking about opening a permanent office for building design, either in Europe or somewhere in the Americas. I am trying not to read too much into it. Normally one of the juniors are sent to open new offices. Zahir is not a junior anymore, I am hurting his career.

 I have been observing things back home. With the turmoil there, and the turmoil here I'm not sure there is a good place anywhere. For now my life is work, and home. I have had a taste of what it is like to be looked at by the police because of the color of my skin.

 I thought things would get easier when College was over. I guess I was wrong.

Chase

We Are Still Good...

 It is midnight here... A fan asked and the answer is yes the Al Marqab area of Amman is in lock-down. We are southwest of there far outside that zone. Zahir and I are still in isolation for about another week, but are still showing no signs of da-"rona." 

 

 It looks like Jordan has been blessed. We have only 345 cases reported at this time. With only 5 fatalities reported. My friend's church is streaming services so I am able to attend again. I am told of an old Chinese curse that goes, "May you live in interesting times..." That certainly appears to be the case.

 

 Z and I have been on a late night/early morning international video conference. Bed time before he pills me to sleep.

 

 Love to y'all. NITE

Chase

Why No Updates...

 Well Zahir and I had a talk. He asked me to stop writing my dirty stories... I didn't realize how jealous it made him. The last thing I want is to upset my love.

 As a result my stories have stopped. FOR NOW. He knows I do want to finish the works that are started. As time permits I will continue with his blessing. Zahir is first in my life. He is the reason air fills my lungs, and I want him happy. I want to be his perfect princess.

 As I said even locked up here in our little castle, we are still racking up respectable hours towards my accreditation.

Chase 

Not Going Anywhere! (Curfew Has Hit Jordan)

 Well, the decision has been made. Not by me, my husband, my family, my employer, OR the U.S. Government. No, in the end it was the tiny virus that made the choice for us. Our borders are now closed.

 COVID-19 has killed thousands in neighboring nations. A couple weeks ago the embassy urged me to leave. Since then it has been a non-stop drumbeat. At the end of each cycle I repeated the words I spoke during our ceremony, "For better or worse, in sickness or in health..." After which Zahir would give me a nose rub and ask, "You will obey if I tell you to go?" I have replied yes, but I would not be happy. Z understands that is Chase code for please don't.

 Well, now we are confined to the compound. The Minister of State warned us all, "Curfew is a 'new lifestyle' that we must get used to until the coronavirus is controlled. Zahir and I are fortunate, most of our business can be done from the home office. Z got out of Iran just in time. 

 We are also fortunate Z's baby sister married a nurse affiliated with the Civil Defence Department. He makes sure Baba has his heart meds. Our leaders are talking about reopening the pharmacies again soon. Yawm, my brother-in-law-in-law (is that a thing) has been monitoring Baba and my health non-stop when he is home. He knows we are the most at risk in the house.

 All shops across the Kingdom are closed we will find more out on Tuesday. There will be certain times when shops will be open to allow us to "meet our basic needs." Starting today Mama and I have been giving surplus food items from our gardens to the guards to take home to their families to help them get by till Tuesday. We have also come up with a way to get some of our produce over our walls to the neighbors as we can. We are one nation, if each of us will sacrifice a little for the good of all we will be well. My family is Bedu, we are renowned for our hospitality and generosity.

 I hope you are all well, I may have a little fear and concern, but "This is my home, these are my people now, I am staying!!!"

Chase

Every Kaleeb Has It's Day

 Well I hate to say it: Zahir was right. He has been doing a lot of out of country business.  I occasionally will work with him, but I am now in training with most of the design teams. The concept is to give me a wide degree of experience in a short period of time.

 I have something new in my wallet that Zahir does not like. The boss gave me one of the company's "black cards" (a credit card with almost no limit) for when I am entertaining clients. From time to time we entertain the high-spending clients, take them to lunch, and pay for entertainment. Now that I'm actually "soloing" with clients I too have that responsibility.

 Which led to a prophecy of Zahir's being fulfilled. It was a simple meet and greet, "make sure the client gets settled into the hotel before the big meeting the next day." Zahir had not yet returned from his latest trip abroad so the boss thought it would be acceptable for me to go and greet the client at the airport and shuttle him to the hotel. Once there he had other ideas. 

 Light boys are a bit of a novelty in this part of the world. I was fortunate that a "passing" hotel staff member heard me (I am not that loud) and entered the suite. I think the boss had the hotel watch out for me. It is the only thing that makes sense. The staff member was able to correct the "gentleman's" misunderstanding. I was shaking when I got home. I told Baba all. He told me I did nothing wrong.

 The meeting the next day did not occur and I do believe I may have cost our firm a client. Both Baba and Zahir were not thrilled with the breach of my safety. Yes, that is of course an incredible understatement. They both wanted me to stop working. I told them I cannot just be a pampered puppy. I explained I would not be happy just being a house boy. But in the end I would obey my husband. They said they would make things work.

 The boss apologized to Zahir and me for not thinking of my safety. I will not be used to shuttle clients... the phrase "too frail" came up a lot from both of them. Rather than risk losing Zahir (or to a lesser degree me) the boss pulled some of his strings and now Kaleeb is "certified" as my therapy animal. He has a cute little vest that he wears to let everyone know that he is indeed my "therapy dog." He accompanies me everywhere. Everyone I work with knows he is my protection, a stand-in for Zahir. 

 The neighbors are nice to me. Z's brother still has me walking different routes to the local English speaking embassies, "Just in case." The family wants me to know my way to safety. I always have someone with me on these walks. They are there for the same reason as Kaleeb, to ensure nothing happens to me. The people of Jordan have been nothing but kind to me. I think it is an over-reaction.

 We had another person attempt to harm the perimeter dog (Kaleeb's surviving pack-mate). Our neighbors caught him and held him for the police. Okay there may have been some roughing up of the idiot before the police arrived.

 Arba'ah has promised to replace the dog who was killed in November. Kaleeb and his brother will stay with me in the inner garden. The outer zone will be patrolled by the new dogs. Arba'ah and Zahir do not want me to be involved with their training or deployment. I think they are afraid I will make pets of them.

 The neighborhood shopkeepers are getting to know me well. My Arabic is improving and I have polite discourse when my voice permits. Conversation is a special gift of the Jordanian people. There are no short chats.

 This is HOME!

Honeymoon Travel log - Vol 2

 So much has happened. Our third stop was a little Island in Greece. We spent a week playing, dancing and just enjoying each other. As soon as we returned to Amman that changed. 
 
 There was an earthquake in Iran and Z had to respond for the firm. I was all set to hang around the compound with Baba and Mama. Surprise! The boss put me back to work. I am racking up HUGE numbers of billable hours with the firm towards my accreditation as a structural engineer. Most of my focus is on expat jobs. Between my appearance and disability, Arab men would NEVER respect my professional ability.
 
 At home Mama has put me into bootcamp of sorts. I think she is teaching me how to be a dutiful spouse, worthy of her son. How to balance work and home. "Your King is all. He deserves peace when he returns home, it is his right and your responsibility to provide it." She was not being mean, she genuinely wants me to be a happy successful partner for Zahir.

 When I get home I am exhausted. Still, I manage the household books and pay our portion of the staff. Our housekeeper is treating me different. She used to treat me like a son/nephew... Now she treats me as her boss. She is still sweet but I miss the old relationship. It is like some of the magic is gone.
 
 To my fans sorry for the lack of updates, but I just haven't had the time to think, let alone write. I hope to be able to carve out more time for me... I just don't know when.

 I am now a licensed driver in Jordan! I am also the adopted son of my husband... (that just sounds creepy). It solves a few legal hurdles. A couple of his brother's wives have joined in the spousal mentor pool. With Mama they are teaching me where and how to shop.
 
 I am helping Z's youngest sister. She and Mama are grinding gears a bit. She and Yawm got married. The happy couple have moved into her suite of rooms in the big house. I guess the how to be a good wife bootcamp was NOT well received. Zahir warned me NOT to get involved. It is hard, I love them both but I am grateful Zahir and I live in the "small" house.


Love to you all 

Good night,
Chase

Honeymoon Travel log - Vol 1

 Either he is trying to kill me or thrill me... Not so sure which.

 We had been "living proper" (Mama phrase) since the ceremony in Jordan. The boss let my church hold the (Christian) ceremony in the woods on his property. It was the brother I call Arba'ah (the security guy) who pointed out too many of our neighbors can look into the family's property in Amman. That meant too much risk for that venue. I have explained before while Jordan is an open city, It is not quite marriage for same sex couples open... YET.

 While the family was returning to the compound in Amman, Zahir took the American side of the party straight to the airport. I got a nose rub and a kiss on the forehead and a command, "Obey and be good." Then he left me in my family's care and we loaded the jet to Tampa. For the record I was freaking. 

 Stacy explained we were on our way to the next venue. Pawpaw said it was a modern take on an old family tradition, a shivaree. Abducting the groom on the wedding night to torment the bride. I was about to point out I was technically the "bride" in our relationship when Mohsen said Zahir wanted to do things "proper." Translation no "intimate contact" until the final ceremony.

 When he finally arrived in our wedding village (a week later) I attempted to squid wrap him with my arms and legs. I forgot how fast Moe was. "Patience little one. Things must follow their course." Hard to do when you want to rip the buttons off your husband's clothes.

 I told you about the Islamic ceremony in my previous post. Graduation was so lit. Baba arranged with a friend to have a lunch off campus. I was a bit concerned when we pulled up to the new strip mall but the inside space was amazing. 

 The best part was meeting dispatcher John again. Poor guy looked terrified opening the door to see the crowd. He gave me a wrapped box with a cool pen set. The pen doubles as a stylus for my iPad. 

Then he asked Zahir if he could give a gift to his mother. THAT raised eyebrows. He quietly thanked her for finding and caring for me after my kitchen "incident." He gave a lovely blue and white silk scarf. She in turn thanked him for helping me.

  He and officer Mike hit it off, cops and dispatchers, go figure. The big surprise was that he and Zahir started talking fighter jet stuff. I thought I knew all about my friends. I guess I have much more to learn.

  The BIG legal civil ceremony took place the next day at Disney again in our wedding suits. Yes, I wore the head scarf, tiara and veil! Zahir wore his red and white shemagh. This service was more intimate. Close family and of course the boss. Most of the graduation guests were told to go off and enjoy the parks.

 Our wedding reception was also in the park. The Disney cast was so great. The kids had a visit from one of the park princesses at our reception. She was eyeballin my crown. 

"Some people care too much.
I think it's called love." 

 The "bride" and groom got a visit from Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too. Damn you Stacy, it was perfect. I thought about my mom and yes, for a moment I cried. There have been so many days and things recently I wish she could have seen. That day I was wrapped in love and I felt her. 


 About Disney... Disney has been a place of sadness for me in the past. It was the last thing Mom and I did together before she left me in Miami. It took a long time to understand she was trying to build a perfect memory for me to carry me through my life.

  Some on the left and right bash the house of mouse for not going far enough to their side. I would argue Disney is on the BEST side, their own. It is the side of fun and LOVE! Disney does not have STRAIGHT weddings. They do not have GAY weddings. Disney has WEDDINGS! Simply put Disney loves LOVE, and I love Disney. *end of unsolicited product endorsement.

For the record: He's my Pooh Bear!

 As we danced Zahir asked if he was Tigger or Pooh. I reminded him I am Christopher Robin and he was both to be. Sometimes Z is the energetic tiger when I need to play. Sometimes he is the cuddly teddy bear when I need to cry. He is my world of more than a Hundred Acres.

 After the reception we headed straight to the airport. I balked about leaving our things back at the hotel. This earned me a, "Not for you to worry."

 We were welcomed on board by "Muffin" and the flight crew and took our seats. For the first time since he bought the jet, he did not climb into the cockpit. No sooner had we gotten off the ground and leveled off he pick me up princess style and carried me back into the private salon. The bed was already made and dusted with rose petals. I could be wrong but I think he missed me.

 When we finally emerged from our love cage, the flight attendant had a very tasty dinner laid out. I asked when we were getting back to Jordan.  Zahir asked why I thought we were going home. 

 I replied that we were heading to the east. He pointed to the blank monitors and asked how I knew we were flying East? I replied it was easy to tell when you're flying away from the sun. 

 "I am not taking my baby home. We are going on our honeymoon. Where is not your concern. I will care for you from this day on. It is my obligation as husband." 

 We spent five days in Switzerland. I learned how to ski on snow, kind of. OK, I LEARNED HOW TO FALL! A LOT!!! I still hate the cold. Zahir warming me up was AWESOME as always! 

 Second stop was in the Netherlands. The fishing village of Volendam to be precise. A client gave us the use of his summer house as a wedding gift. It was so beautiful, a little cold and damp. The people were so sweet and warm. Did bump into a lemon sucker or two but those were the exception. 

  We did a few walking tours of the harbor area. We stopped in at a wooden shoe factory and took the tour. Z made an impulse buy for me. After a hot chocolate with rum he bought me a pair of wooden clogs called klompen. I could be wrong but I think the rum may have caused the purchase. 

 Speaking of shoes, during our walk on our last day in town the sole blew out on my favorite pair of Vans. I tried to muddle through, to make it back to the hotel. As it got louder, Zahir picked up on the telltale "flap-thwip" sound coming from my left foot. He steered me immediately into the first shoe store he saw. 

 The college guy sat me down to measure my foot and he was flirting. I admit he was cute, not my type but fun to look at. I am normally oblivious to flirtation, THIS was THAT obvious. It was very clear the sizer had not been used in some time. I could almost hear Z's teeth grinding as he growled my shoe size to the boy. "Sizes are different in Europe, must make sure for a proper fit."

  An older associate saw our shiny new rings and Zahir's darkening mood. He zipped into the back and returned with the size Z was muttering. Fit like a glove, my guy knows his boy. The older gentleman took over the sale, college boy was not happy.

 Zahir was not happy either as we went for lunch. For the first time I ate as he picked/stabbed at his food. I put my hand on his. I told him that he had REAL stamina. The strength to carry me at my lowest. The power to guide me safely. The courage to stand and defend me when I was at risk. I ended with, "Think of my favorite position... Do you think that twig of a boy could pick me up and THEN light me up like you do?"

 My man had that check paid and us back to the house in no time.

  Currently at our final venue. Hint there is a VERY warm beach involved. We will be back in Amman too soon.

 Chase

I Have A New Name!!!

 The trip back to the Sunshine State has had a few surprises for us but I'll get into that a bit later. 

 We have rented four vacation homes connected by a winding path. It is at an undisclosed location near the I-4 corridor. The "bridal party's" house is a bit crowded. Moe and Stacy (acting mom and dad), Aunt Meghan (Maid of honor) and her girl friend, Pawpaw, Memaw, and I. 

 The boss rented a house too. He is sheltering the officiants; the Imam for the other religious ceremony in the morning and Officer Mike (the cop who saved my life) who is performing the civil ceremony on Sunday. The civil ceremony is the legal one. It will take place in a theme park in the area. Lets just say "I'm a princess bitch!" 

 The groom's party takes up the other two houses. I love our big family.

 The first surprise was graduation. I SCREWED UP! It turns out I am gonna miss out on the walk for my chemistry degree. That one is Friday night and NOT concurrent with the school of Engineering graduation. Oh well, I still earned the degree.

 Our next surprise was on the wedding front. The second marriage ceremony is in the morning just after sunrise, two days early. Mohsen's Imam had a family emergency so it was either move the event up or scrap this part.

 Stacy and Mama had a henna party for me Wednesday night. My hands and feet look so pretty. All of us look like we are wearing delicate brown lace gloves, EVEN Memaw. Mama gave me something at the henna party, a beautiful (not overly feminine) headscarf and veil. The scarf matched the pattern on my hands. 

 I had just stopped gushing when she gave me a green velvet box "Your king sends this..." It was a delicate platinum kokoshnik style tiara set with tiny diamonds and emeralds. It looks like a crescent moon all by itself. I am not saying it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen but there were tears involved. Mama showed me the proper way to wear it with the headscarf. I'll be, "I GUESS I AM A PRINCESS!"

 The "legal" civil marriage license is done. So technically in the eyes of Florida we are married once we sign on Sunday. Had to jump through a ton of legal hurdles but we are ready. I have chosen to take HIS family name. 

 About the name change, to solve certain issues back home, Zahir will adopt me (ok that part is creepy but this way I can be his somewhat openly). Looking forward to the day when the whole world recognizes LOVE IS LOVE. Until that day, he is all about keeping me safe. 


 Headed out to dinner at the lodge.


 SOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!


Chase 


 ****Update 12/13/2019****

 The second faith ceremony (the Nikah) is complete. I just woke up from a nap. Poor Zahir is still sleeping off his "bachelor's party." My poor baby was up all night with his brothers, two of my uncles from Paducah, Mohsen and Mike. The boss and Pawpaw played chess until early in the morning on the front porch. 

 The Imam chuckled as the groom's party shuffled (there may have been a momentary stagger or two) up the path to the bridal house. Sarah (my uncle's wife) said it reminded her of an opening to a zombie movie. 

 Zahir and I were dressed in almost matching white and gold silk suits with high collars. The only skin exposed was Zahir's face and my eyes. I couldn't help notice the golden embroidery on my jacket matched my scarf and henna markings. It seams Z's Mama put a lot of thought into my attire.

 The groom's party met mine in the gazebo behind the bridal home. I was shocked at the sheer number of well wishers and witnesses. Many of our clients were there to witness the signing of the Nikaahnama (wedding contract). Zahir kissed my cheek three times and my forehead once during the ceremony. Afterwards we walked the path to the groom's house and Mama said a blessing over me as she held the Quran over my head. "Now you are MY baby too..." I have a real Momma again.

 My uncle Mark surprised me with a check at dinner. "This isn't our gift to you two, it is just a bit of overdue business." He has been managing the property my grandparents had set aside for my Momma and I when I was born. When they thought I died with Momma he took over ownership. He gave me a check for the current value of the property. 

 Mark's wife Sarah is a portrait painter. She gave me a portrait of my mother holding me as a baby. Yes, tears flowed! I swear I could feel Momma here today. We are having a reception on Sunday after the "legal" ceremony. The next hurdle is commencement tomorrow.

I damn near fell over when Zahir showed me the deposit of my "bride price" in my OTHER bank account. Some brides use the money to complete their education, set up the home (like he has EVER said no to a purchase), some start businesses with it. I have no clue what to do with it. I have never had to handle money.