I don't know how to address this one. I don't like doing individual emails on some questions, because that normally results in the same question being asked six times or more. I don't like doing cookie cutter replies, because it makes me sound as if I'm uninterested.
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"How does Zahir handle your occasional overshare?" One flat out said I was being disloyal and disobedient.
Overshare, it's a difficult process. If I feel there is too much detail I will ask him to review before I post.
Disloyal or disobedient. Never an issue because we don't have that kind of relationship. I am his boy/partner. Yes, he does know I'm doing this now. It's how I diary things that affect me here, or things that I am struggling with from my past. There are times when he learns things from my past that I have not shared with him. I have been having trouble and he knows this is helping.
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I've had a few questions from people who suffer with allergies like I do.
One of them found it odd how often I've used my EpiPen. I've only used it three times in my life. The first time was shortly after I found out I was allergic to bees. The second was at summer camp when I was eleven. The third was here, when I found out how close scorpion venom was to bee venom. It turns out the two critters are related.
The second took issue with the damage to my heart. She said she had never heard of a reaction like that. Well unfortunately it is very well-documented here. Less than 1% of the population has a negative reaction to antivenin, tachycardia, severe cramps, and hyperhidrosis are some of the side effects. Lucky me I'm in the 1%.
A physician asked if I was using an experimental anti-venom and the answer is no. The brand name is Anascorp. Zahir refuses to use anything experimental on me... Unless there's no other option. We are looking for alternatives knowing how poorly I respond to the Anascorp.
Another had an issue with how many times those little eight-legged venom tailed freaks from hell have crossed my path within the last few months. So have I! It's not like the entire country is crawling with them. When I leaned against that stonewall there was a little voice in my mind that said don't. Even back home I know that stacked stone walls often house critters like black widows and brown recluses. They like staying warm and stones retain heat and shade.
Immunotherapy... I am not a candidate. My allergies are too extreme. Dosages would have to be so small it would take years perhaps decades for the treatment to become effective.
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"Gay, religion, mixed relationships, how does it all work?"
That's a little tougher. As far as I'm concerned Zahir is my husband, I want no other. It's not legal here for same-sex couples to marry. If we went back to the States and got married it would cause problems when we come back here.
I have told you in the past that Jordan is one of those weird countries in the Middle East where homosexuality is not a criminal act. In truth though something is not criminal it does not free you from discrimination. There are ways the government and individuals can punish you for being in a homosexual relationship.
To that end I am issuing a travel warning:
If you're visiting the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan; don't use Grindr, Scruff or other hook up apps unless you are behind a hidden/encrypted IP address. They are routinely monitored by the over zealous. They can also lead to incidents of blackmail. Recently a very pious family used the app to set up a businessman. The "pay us or we prosecute" trap is often used. In the case of the businessman, due to the age of the bait... sorry child, he is going to prison.
I was lucky I had a very good example of how to take care of a Muslim man. My favorite foster parents were mixed religions as well. I got to live with Mohsen (Moe) and Stacy twice. The first time was an emergency rehoming after my previous foster mother burned my chest with her car's cigarette lighter.
I bonded with Stacy immediately, it took a while to warm up to Moe. Stacy was always the first one up on the ranch. I would later learn that was because she woke up Moe for morning prayer. Later I would learn how, and put it into practice on Zahir. Let's just say it is very good to wake up with something to be grateful for.
I would also learn to encourage Zahir to make Salaah at the Masjid. In encouraging him, not hen pecking or preaching at him, those blessings have come back to me. He was able to find me a body of believers he trusts that I may worship with.
One of the first things he did when he returned was to shave off his beard. I've actually been playfully nibbling at his jaw when I kissed him. Then I tell him how much I miss it. I tell him how much better he would look with it again.
Why do I do these things well they're what are expected of a wife. Since I am his princess, that makes me his wife.
As to my faith I've already explained it.
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Mohsen and Stacy
One person caught on to the nefarious secret world of "Islam stealing young white American boys to keep them from breeding." I kid you not that crap actually showed up in my inbox.
My last foster parents Mohsen and Stacy are not Jordanian. Moe did not sell me into sex slavery. Moe is also not a Bedouin he was born in Southeastern Iraq. He is Ferayghat to be specific. He also was the best example of what it was to be a real man I had growing up.
He and Stacey were unable to have children, so they chose to raise the children who were trapped in the system. It took almost three months before he would allow Zahir to be alone with me. They had been doing business for years, but I was in his care and he was going to make sure I was safe.
Moe would get me to calm down for bed by telling me of how he grew up. His father raised water buffalo in the marshlands. I laughed when he told me that. I said, "Now you raise cattle in a swamp. You've come a long way sir." He laughed.
