My Long Climb From Nothing...
My destination, beyond the horizon. My purpose to discover me.
My Therapist recommended a diary... So I share (to a point)
After not sleeping last night again. Zahir brought me a glass of water and one of those little white pills that I dread. Then to make sure I did not cheat, he gave me a snack to eat.
Chase, even chemically induced sleep is better than a potential psychotic break from sleep deprivation. Trust me, been there. The pill is a tool. Trust your "Shrinky Dink" to make sure it doesn't become a crutch.
I understand. I just HATE being locked into sleep. The dreams get "unsettling." Last night was a good example. I am meeting a lot of "fellow survivors." I hate to say it but the deaf/mute community are looked at as "easy" targets. I also understand this isn't something one just get over.
After fifteen hours of forced sleep, I am awake. I woke up an hour ago. Mama was watching over me, "You drool as you sleep..." She pointed at the malinois curled and leaning against my legs, "...like that filthy beast."
When I replied, "It's ok, your son is waterproof..." she laughed. The I realized what I said and damn near blushed to death.
Not sleeping sucks!! My husband keeps me on a regular schedule. If I am up past ten then he knows something is wrong. Usually we are in bed by then and he is on his laptop or phone with me curled into his side. But I always wake up before him. I am a morning person.
After not sleeping last night again. Zahir brought me a glass of water and one of those little white pills that I dread. Then to make sure I did not cheat, he gave me a snack to eat. 
He's catching on.
Zahir, thank you for knocking the kid out...
ReplyDeleteChase, even chemically induced sleep is better than a potential psychotic break from sleep deprivation. Trust me, been there. The pill is a tool. Trust your "Shrinky Dink" to make sure it doesn't become a crutch.
Sweet dreams Chase.
-A fellow survivor.
I understand. I just HATE being locked into sleep. The dreams get "unsettling." Last night was a good example. I am meeting a lot of "fellow survivors." I hate to say it but the deaf/mute community are looked at as "easy" targets. I also understand this isn't something one just get over.
DeleteDoesn't mean I have to like it.
Chase
After fifteen hours of forced sleep, I am awake. I woke up an hour ago. Mama was watching over me, "You drool as you sleep..." She pointed at the malinois curled and leaning against my legs, "...like that filthy beast."
ReplyDeleteWhen I replied, "It's ok, your son is waterproof..." she laughed. The I realized what I said and damn near blushed to death.
Not sleeping sucks!! My husband keeps me on a regular schedule. If I am up past ten then he knows something is wrong. Usually we are in bed by then and he is on his laptop or phone with me curled into his side. But I always wake up before him. I am a morning person.
ReplyDelete