Sometimes the law of unintended consequences hits us broadside. We found a couple side effects from the surgery well more specifically from the pain meds.
- I am going through moments where I am exceptionally chatty.
- I appear not to have a filter when it comes to speaking the truth. It is led to some truly embarrassing conversations with Zahir.
- It has left me incredibly susceptible to suggestion. We found that one out by accident. As a joke, Zahir said to do something I would normally never would have done. When I started he realized something was wrong and called the doctor. He immediately went to the patient information sheet and started reading the side effects.
This third unfortunate revelation has led to Zahir's belief that I am not able to consent. This is led to great cuddles in bed but no sex. He was so concerned about that last part that he actually set his alarm for early prayer to make sure I couldn't wake him up in the usual manner. It has proved one thing to me, he doesn't just want a sex-bot.
I like some of the comments I'm receiving. Folks are split into 2 camps. First, that we either wasted 2 years. The second is that he manipulated and groomed me. We did not, and he did not.
He took two years to help heal the damage boy I was. He gave me what I needed most a friend I couldn't push away. Then he took another so I was ready. He waited until I was strong enough to stand with him as a man. I am so glad we took our time. I agree with Zahir about the movie. I don't see love as just a season, it is a journey to be shared.
To the journey my friends.
Chase
Call me by your name was so good! I had to beg A when it came out in theaters. The only reason he agreed is because it was playing at the theater with giant recliner seats where they serve you dinner and drinks. It was actually sad watching an emotional movie with him being a recliner away from me with a little table in between us. I wanted to crawl over there, but PDA is not something he is big on. I cried in that movie.
ReplyDeleteBeing doped is kind of fun especially when it's under a doctor's order so you're not going to get messed up. Enjoy it! When I had it for a dental thing, it was pretty cool and he treated me like a puppy.
There is a sequel in the works...
DeleteSet a few years down the road. It sounds like it will be dark. I really should read the book. The problem is there is only one bookstore in Amman that would dare to carry it, and I promised Zahir I wouldn't go back there.
Books@Cafe is more than a bookstore and restaurant. It is a place where everyone is accepted for who they are. There is a bar with karaoke nights. The local "pious" crowd dismiss it as just a gay bar. It is so much more.
I guess I can get the eBook through amazon. It isn't the same. When it comes to reading for pleasure, I prefer a real book. The way the paper feels in my hands and smells (doubly so for old books). Zahir's father has a magnificent library at his house. He has books there that are so old you have to wear gloves to touch them. I know this is gonna sound nerdy but, there is something sensual, almost erotic about the smell of old books.
Not as doped, started the lower dose today. My head is clearing the fog. I miss being at the office. I offered to just lay on the couch. Zahir said it would be too hard to explain to clients about having a beautiful boy stretched out on the furniture.