Grandma surprised me during our facetime chat at Christmas. She asked when Z would do the honorable thing. I guess she wants me married not just living in sin. Of course she said it with far more grace and tact.
Then she spoke plainly, "Young man YOU have seen, life is too damned short for someday or maybe."
I told her of the dangers to my family if our relationship became public knowledge. My clinical argument was accurate and on point. She told me she sees the risk, then she said the only one at risk right now is her grand-baby. I changed the topic clumsily. I just got her back in my life, I don't want to fight with her. Especially when I know her argument is coming from the love in her heart.
Zahir was working in the corner office and heard my reply. When our chat was over Zahir came into our room. He said he was not trying to listen in but our voices carried. He asked me if my heart was sore. I told him I have everything that I want, anything more is just a dream. "You took a math nerd and made him an engineer. I live in a world of limits. What can happen, and what can't happen. It is all about living in the can do side of the equation." I am not sure how convincing I was, but he held me and let it drop.
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I spent the rest of this week helping Baba get ready for his new class at the University. Although the concept of being in a classroom terrifies me. Still, it excites me at the same time. The concept of dealing with the pure math class is also thrilling. Baba thinks engineering may be too limiting for me. "At your age horizons need to be wide."
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So here I sit looking back on 2018...
This year has challenged me in ways I never imagined. I learned truths that were painful (but truth is often painful). I've grown through it all, I prospered, I learned and I loved greatly. So here I am at 3pm waiting for my love to come home, and I'm using this time to reflect back. 2018 was a good year.
Zahir is taking me out for a late dinner tonight. Then we will be going to a French client's home to ring in the New Year western style.
Luv y'all,
Chase
Zahir had to go into the office today. He did surprise me by telling me I needed to get dressed for work. Monday is normally my day to sleep in. I learned long ago when he says I am to do something one does not dawdle. By the time I emerged from the shower he already had clothing laid out for me.
I was a little surprised he had me dress more formally than I normally do. Normally it's a suit and tie mini Z, I guess you could say. He had me dressed in a going out suit, there's a difference. As we headed into town I told him he was going the wrong way. "I tell my boy he has work to do. I did not say where! My boy questions me?"
When we pulled in front of the apartment building in Abdali, I realized where we were. Especially since I just been there the other day for church. My pastor and Z exchanged blessings and greetings. Zahir told me I was to work hard and obey the pastor. This is my first Christmas with my new church family. One of the things we do is bring food packages to those in need. We decided it would have more meaning on Christmas Eve. Then we had church in the afternoon. The only thing I could do to help out with was to sort boxes. Baba has loaned me one of his canes to get around with. I still can't bear full weight on the right leg. The pastor reminded me, "We each help where we can."
Our church is a multinational congregation. We have believers from Denmark, Germany, United States, a couple Japanese girls, and yes we do have Jordanians and Syrians too. I knew Silent Night was written in German originally. This was the first time I got to sing it in German. I also didn't know that it was composed originally for a guitar. The pastor and his wife took me home after church. Our church sees Zahir as my husband. Knowing full well that cannot legally happen here yet. I hope for the future.
Back at home I was greeted to another round of showering and changing. Z says for me to do something, I do it. Zahir's eldest brother took the two of us out for dinner with his family. Our relationship has really changed. The eldest brother and I never really got along all that well until we went out house hunting. When he pulled that scorpion from my back it kind of change the nature of our relationship. I knew I was just another little one that he was protecting.
A friend of mine asked if I was getting piggy back rides while I'm laid up. Actually I don't weigh that much, most of the time Z just sweeps me up off my feet and carries me around the house if I am sick or injured. Occasionally it is sweet like carrying a baby, sometimes it is over his shoulder like a caveman. That way can be fun too.
Tomorrow is a national holiday in Jordan, and Mama has plans to help me celebrate, "The birth of your prophet."
Night all and Merry Christmas!
Zahir was greeted by the family and I at the airport. The family parted and he saw me standing on my crutches with my leg in a brace...
Oh I guess I failed to mention my accident. (He reads my blog... couldn't share or he would get worried.)
The day after Zahir departed, his oldest brother and I started wrestling. We were just screwing around, there was no chance of me ever being victorious. Unfortunately my feet slipped on the tile and I hit the ground hard. Then he slipped and fell on me. For the record Baba did not make any light frail children.
During the fall and double impact, I wrenched my knee, severely sprained my ankle and when that happened, I did let out a very loud shriek. If you followed my blog long enough you know when I over-exert my voice, I lose it. I'm not sure who chastised him worse that day his father, his mother, or his wife. It was a very good thing I was in the big house while he was away. It could have been argued very successfully that the camera was disconnected as result of moving the old furniture into my room in their house. When we could only chat using my tablet, he was suspicious.
The the upside about being crutch bound, I got to get a head on a lot of my school work. Not many distractions when all you can do is hobble around inside the same house. Let's face it Baba's place isn't a small house. If they heard me moving around everyone would "check the baby." So I stayed in my nest as often as I possible so I wouldn't become a nuisance.
I'm also starting to understand the financial side of our family a little better. I don't know which one of us is out of touch with reality, Zahir has spent the better part of three years telling me he came from an upper-middle-class family. Kind of funny listening to my tutors explaining what the middle class is in Jordan, we're not it. Baba's family is not even close!
I've always been comfortable with store brands and off brands. Before Zahir, I didn't know/own a name brand, unless it came to me secondhand. A lot of people here are just absolutely crazy about anything with a brand name on it. You see all of the fashion houses in Europe doing brisk sales in Abdali. If it was greener and you could block your ears, you might even believe you were in Miami.
Zahir was not happy that we hid news of my injury from him. I told him I begged the family not to tell him. That his business in Iran was important to his and our firms future. The boss is happy with the result of the trip, and his given Z a few days off to recover and tend to his boy. I got a get-well-soon gift basket of fruit from the engineering department.
So happy he is home.
Chase
Terribly sorry for my long absence. Things have been unusual here. I know that probably sounds weird considering. I had my deposition, it was rough but not as bad as I expected. I was asked if forgiveness was a tenant of my faith. I replied yes, but so too is Earthly justice. Forgiveness does not erase the civil penalty earned as a result of violating the law. People forget when they ask "What would Jesus do?" The possibility of overturning tables and chasing offenders whipping them with cords is an option! Even the real Saint Nicholas had a violent side in his zeal.
I don't know how to explain this, Christmas isn't my favorite holiday. I guess I have had one too many bad ones. Mama, looked at me funny when I shared that as she was helping decorate the main lounge. She said, "We help our boy celebrate the birth of his prophet." In traditional Jordanian fashion they are trying very hard to make me feel comfortable and welcome. I have never felt less than welcome and loved here.
Christmas in Jordan... It's kind of like going through the looking glass. I've said the people of Jordan are very open and welcoming. That's especially true as we enter the Christmas season. It is unusual for an Arab Nation to decorate and celebrate a Christian holiday but here, Christmas is a national holiday. Up in Abdali and on the Boulevard the Christmas lights are out. Children are sitting on Santa's lap in the mall. You could forget where you are, except for the fact that Santa is speaking Arabic.
The temperature is getting colder 9°C/49°F. For this Florida transplant THAT is cold. Zahir is teasing me about wearing my winter pajamas. I think he misses the access of my usual sleep shirts. He is headed out on his trip Monday. I will be moving into the big house for a week. My old bedroom furniture was put in that room to make me more comfortable when I stay there.
My puppy is in the "dog house" with our housekeeper. Kaeleb ate (or mauled to the point of destruction) the robotic floor scrubber (Scooba). Ironically THAT is not covered under the warranty.
Chase
