Well we knew it wasn't going to be easy. That said, I didn't expect there to be this many roadblocks. I'm starting to think my friend had it right, just a civil ceremony on the beach.
I have been blessed with two new mothers in my life. Stacy my last foster mom and Mama Zahir's mom. Add to that my newly reacquired grandmother and this is becoming a nightmare. The bitch of it is all of them love me.
Mama shot down the concept of me being married in the barn. I tried to explain to her the barn was a fall back in case it's raining. The actual ceremony if weather permits would have been under the gazebo. Paducah is now not going to work.
It's starting to look like it's going to be a destination wedding, likely Miami or Tampa. I want my church/faith wedding. I know that sounds selfish but it's something I've always wanted. Zahir had been married before, this is my first God willing my only.
The last people I thought would complain were the first. Members of my own faith, people who accept my sexuality, refuse me being "unequally yoked" in marriage to Muslim. with my local church it would be no problem except it is not legal here.
Ready ready for the kicker? Stacy and Mohsen found an Imam who is willing to perform a same-sex marriage in Miami. He will not perform the service unless I convert. Without conversion I can only be a concubine, not a spouse.
Next up the date changed. June isn't good for some members of the family, July isn't good either. The months dwindled down to September or October. Zahir recommended my birthday there is no way in hell I'm going to be married on Halloween. I know I'm sounding like bridezilla!
The sweetheart is trying to make it special I know that. Between my commencement hopefully in October and my birthday we should be in Florida for most of the month.
Chase
YES!! OMG. I got so overwhelmed and A kept asking me to plan the wedding of "my dreams." I knew he was so busy with work and I kept feeling guilty about all the stuff he wanted me to decide on with the wedding coordinator. I remember crying and trying to hide my freakouts from him. Finally it got to be too much. He wanted something big so he could impress the clients and business contacts. I still feel kind of guilty about it, but I am glad we just did a simple wedding planned in one day. :) It was what I wanted and the people I cared about were there.
ReplyDeleteBUT!!! If his family lived here back then, we would have had to have a big wedding. His parents would have made sure of it. Even though they aren't super happy with the whole gay thing, they love me and would have wanted to "give me" (force on me) a huge wedding.
You have to remember to be honest with him and open up.
Here is unsolicited advice from someone who has planned well over one-hundred weddings in the past 25 years. If I can claim to have mastered anything in this life, it is the art of weddings. Just as you should never take financial advice from a poor man, you should never take wedding advice from someone who failed in marriage. I have been married to the same man since before you were born.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is: The best weddings take place in country clubs and resorts, both the ceremony and the reception. They are far less stressful, much more beautiful, and everyone has a terrific time.
Of all the weddings I have planned in clubs and resorts, none has resulted in divorce. I cannot say the same for those that took place inside temples and churches. If you want to inject religion into the ceremony, the officiants can come to you and bless your union in a garden, on a beach, or inside a beautiful hall. God is everywhere, in abundance, and you can include Him as much as you like and in whatever ways make you and your guests feel most comfortable.
There are so many terrific clubs and resorts in the Miami/Tampa area, where you can consolidate your group by having a block of rooms and/or renting houses, so the celebrating can start days before the actual ceremony, with a shower, rehearsal dinner, etc. This will create an unforgettable atmosphere, full of joy.
Your job is to be in love, not to stress-out on your wedding day.