I WON!!

I don't argue with Z often, it's very unpleasant. Apparently my psychiatrist agreed with the doctor who treated my sting (for different reasons.) Z took me to the spa I had a wonderful mud bath and whole body salt scrub. The salt scrub makes your skin wicked smooth to the touch.

Afterwards he surprised me again, I got my very first tattoo. Don't freak out, the concession I made with him was that it had to be a henna tattoo. "I want no permanent marks on my boy."

He has been babying me more than usual. Z told me how afraid he was he was going to lose me after the scorpion sting. It's really very sweet.

A couple of you have asked how we "pass" in this country. The Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan is one of the few nations in this part of the world where being gay is not criminal. It is however culturally frowned upon. For Z to succeed, our relationship has to be hidden. Only a few people very close to us know the truth. 

Staff, like our housekeeper think of me as his foster son. I guess that's the only good thing about my past that is coming in handy. At least our lie is grounded in some truth. As far as the new housekeeper is concerned, I walk on water. I could tell Z told her my past. She had such a look of pity on her face for the next couple days. Somehow that woman actually managed to find real "crunchy" Skippy peanut butter for me. Z told me how her husband was killed defending the border.

Z has been asking how committed I am to my last name. Considering it's NOT my real name, I'm not all that attached to it. Hell I don't even know if the date I use as my birthday is real. The note mom left behind says it is.

I think Z is considering adopting me. I do want a more permanent relationship with him, but I don't want to be his son. It would be too weird sharing a bed with him, if he became a REAL daddy to me. I think I'd rather be thought of as his property, than his son in that case.

Still he's trying so hard. I know he loves me, even if his religion says it is wrong. I should know by now you cannot get everything your heart desires. I love my life with my fuzzy bear. He hates when I call him that, but loves when I play in his fur. 

He is working before evening prayers and dinner. Tomorrow he is taking me to Wadi Rum. We have FOUR Epi-Pens with us. Two on me, two on him. Sunday he has arranged a tour of Petra. 

Next week will be very busy. It is the last few days to get ready for the business trip to Ukraine. He says if all goes well, we can take a short stop in my choice of Germany or Greece.  I am so torn, while I really do want to see Berlin, I yearn to see Athens or Santorini. What can I say, I like old things.

Chase