Road Trip...

Kidding Z is very responsible

I woke up very early this morning to see Z fully dressed for the day. He was not in his usual business attire and said, "We are taking a personal day. It is Sunday and my boy has places to be." The only place I knew I had to be, was in his office. I hate it when he surprises me, and doesn't tell me what's going on. Yes, I know that's the technical definition of a surprise, but it's damn hard to dress for the unknown.

Dead Sea Jordan side

It was still very dark when we started our journey at three. We drove down the road alongside the Dead Sea. He said it would take almost five hours to get where we were going. 

We pulled off for morning prayers and for breakfast along the way. The further we went, the more concerned I became. I started digging my nails into his thigh as I started seeing the signs for Aqaba. He must have thought his speeding was why I was afraid. He slowed down and patted my hand to comfort me. Each minute that past my fear increased. I was sure this was the day he was going to send me away. You see Aqaba is the Jordanian port city adjacent to Eilat, Israel.

He could tell something was wrong. Sadly again he misinterpreted what was going on with me. He pulled the car off the road and asked me if I had to go to the bathroom. This was one of those times I was truly scared shitless, pun intended. I shook my head no and asked him if the militants had come across the border from Syria.

He cradled my face laughing, "This is why you tremble so? Oh, my sweet little fatalist! No, there is something I want you to see. This is a fun trip I promise. I have business to perform, and I have a surprise for you. I know how you love old things. I have a friend who will show you a piece of your history."

I choked back my snotty tears. I was on the verge of a complete emotional collapse. He's right I do have a lot of baggage. Maybe it's time to actually talk to the therapist. Z gave me tissues and stroked my cheek until I calmed. Then we drove on through the morning.

When we arrived in Aqaba he introduced me to one of his old friends from university.  He left me in his care. M took me to an archaeological dig site and said it was the oldest church in all of Christendom. I corrected him that this was just a building. Then I gestured at my body and said this is the church. He smiled and said indeed. I found out that he was also a Christian. Turns out that Z is very modern in who he calls friend.

M asked me how I could reconcile being gay with being a Christian. I replied with another question to him. How a fat person could be a Christian? Can a person who drinks too much be a Christian? Both of these things are sins. We all have sinned. It is part of the human condition. The truth is there is no greater or lesser sin. In God's eyes they are all the same. 

 This is why when the religious leaders tried to trick Jesus with the question, what is the greatest commandment. He simply replied to love God with all your heart mind and the second one is like unto it to love thy neighbor as thyself upon these two Commandments all of the laws hang. I told him I belong to the PC USA denomination, inclusion is part of our philosophy. You can't show the love of Christ to someone that you are condemning. Many Christians forget it is not our place to condemn.

One does not choose who they fall in love with. I love Z with all my heart. Z did make one mistake however, M and his family were Greek Orthodox I felt very uncomfortable in that church. It was a lovely homily though. Z completed his meeting and collected me from his friends home. I got a nose rub which is the farthest he goes in public. 

We took the fast way home. The main Highway only takes two and a half hours. On the way he told me if things did go wrong his friend would walk me and his partners boy across the Israeli border. We would then make our way to a third party nation to be reunited. 

"I do not wish for this to be something for my boy to fear. I am not getting rid of you. You are my heart little one. I must protect you. Do not fear I have prepared for every possible thing that can go wrong."

He went a bit further to tell me I was going to learn Arabic. I figured it was about time that happened, I've lived here for a year. I've been able to pick up a few words here and there. When everyone talks to him and not to me it's kind of hard to learn more. I tried to call him Habibi once, he told me to use his first name. He was my love, not my father. So much for me being cute.

Someone emailed me a question about how I fooled DCF so long. Technically, I did not fool them. We just didn't ask their permission to leave the country. Z arranged travel documents and passports from Jordan. So in a sense I traveled as a Jordanian citizen.

Department of Children and Families is like any bureaucracy it is slow to wake up but once it does it is relentless. Just before my 18th birthday they attempted to do a site visit with my foster family. Their method of closing the file as it were. When I wasn't there flags were raised. The family told them I was traveling celebrating my graduation from high school. Which is a true statement.

Z arranged travel back to the States for me we flew into Quebec on my Jordanian passport. Then we flew to Florida displaying my American passport. Sneaky yes, borderline illegal probably yes. I plead ignorance of the law and as I was a minor at the time, no charges can be filed. When we returned to Jordan I traveled on my American passport.

With today's meltdown,  it looks like I'm going to have a lot to talk to the shrink about tomorrow.

Chase