I Am Back!!!

 I am back in London.  I have had a couple more bouts of dysphonia,  caused by me over extending myself.  

 

 Zahir is traveling, hand holding a nervous client.  It happens.  90% of what we do is straight forward traditional design.  When we get into that fun 10% there is more risk.  Most of that risk is financial, thus nervous clients. 

 

 I am sort of running the London office with Z gone.  I had a video conference call with the home office.  I went for about fifteen minutes about the projects the office was on.  Then when I asked a question I realized no one was paying attention to the content of what I was saying.

 They were so amazed at hearing my new voice that they stopped listening. To hear is passive, listening takes work.

 

 Big boss apologized and asked me to repeat what I said.  The briefing lasted about a half hour.  That is the longest and loudest these people have ever heard my voice.  There were a few cracks and waivers but afterwards he told me he was happy with my improvement and how I am adapting. 

 

 I just wish Z could have witnessed it.  If he could, he would have been giving the brief. Catch twenty-two.
 
 My voice is getting stronger.  Best it has been since it was stolen.  I am so happy!

I AM BACK!!!

Christopher the Victorious!

Isolation and Setbacks

 Had a setback, I pushed too hard in rehab. What happens when a partially mute boy gets muscle tension dysphonia?

 Answer, his doctor commanding he become a completely mute boy. Only for three days of recovery. 

 My external sutures come out Friday. I have been so self-conscious about the scar, Zahir got me some cute scarves, neck-wraps, and mock turtlenecks. He surprised me with a leather collar too. It says baby. The doc recommended no on that for a while, it breeds bacteria.

 Our post surgical isolation will be over next week and a half. The recent scans look very good. The otolaryngologist in-spite of the setback is pleased with the repair. The cosmetic surgeon is happy with the result of her side of the procedure. We are looking forward to returning to London. I will have a few more weeks of rest and recovery. Our primary care doctor will take over my care there.

 It looks like Z may have to return to Florida. A group who we designed a building for have chosen NOT to listen to our advice. BIG mistake. Zahir and the big boss are pissed beyond words.

I Am A Real Cut Up

Sorry for the post surgical post YIKES it was bad! I tried to clean it up a bit...

Had the surgery on the 26th. We got lucky, an opening occurred and Doc pushed up the date. He prefers not to use the surgical suite on Fridays.

  The procedure to repair my voice box went longer than expected. There was more scar tissue than expected around the nerve. I was on the table for six hours. The doctor and cosmetic surgeon said things went well. Now I have to be quiet until the doc says. I am NOT having a full reconstruction. I guess I got used to not having an Adam's apple. Having a bunch of additional stuff added seems silly. Zahir said it was my choice and said okay.

  I was groggy for a couple days afterwards. Z was constantly shushing me and had me using the tablet my fingers weren't cooperating enough to sign, I hate anesthesia. I have to take medications of pain and anti inflammatory. Zahir brought in backup, MEEMAW arrived early this morning. She must have flown all night.

 The cosmetic surgeon used tiny little sutures to close me up that SHOULD look like a normal neck crease when the tissues heals. I told her it still makes me look like Frankenstein's creation. She said what I am seeing is a fresh wound, with the elasticity of my skin you'll have to look hard to see the revised scar. When She and Z spoke together they switched to German. I don't understand much German but I COULD understand some of the potty mouth things she had to say about the DCF approved doctor who closed me up last. 

Doc had me doing TH, SH, M and H sounds today. Smiles all around, fingers crossed that this continues.

Christopher

Meltdown In Miami

 In a weird way I was looking forward to the trip to Miami. Zahir did something odd, he let the firm's pilots fly us. We almost brought the full team together again. All but two from the London office and all seven engineers from the Amman office. The big boss chartered a helicopter so each member of the team could see the damage to the Champlain Towers South site. This was not done in morbid curiosity. Our boss believes we must learn from tragedy to prevent its return. He told me when he took me on as an intern he NEVER wanted to see a structural failure of a building his company designed.

 

 We circled the tower at a distance. It looked as if a giant knife cut the building in two. Then the loss hit me as I looked down at the debris pile. One of the young engineers saw what Z had missed, the tears rolling from my eyes. The big boss held my cheek explaining to the others, "This was his tribe. This must not happen to us, ever."

 

 All of our clients have given us free access to the sites. My adopted city is all about prevention now. I am on the boss's team we are reviewing the original designs (numbers and stress loads). Simply put reviewing EVERYTHING for overlooked built in failure points. 

 

 Zahir is heading on-site examinations team. That team has the bigger job. Column by column, load point by load point eyes on examination. They will look at post-build soil elevation and characteristic changes and other signs of potential distress. Where possible/necessary, they are even going to perform fiber-optic and ultrasound exams of the footings. 

 

 A total of seventeen of our buildings dot the Miami area skyline. They will be the safest on Earth.

 

 

 Christopher

On The Road With MeeMaw

 I had an emergency meeting with building officials in Berlin regarding change sheets for a housing project. The problem, Zahir is on another continent also for an emergency consult for the home office. I love twitchy clients... NOT. The big boss arranged a sign translator who had "a minor background" in personal security. 

 

 About two minutes into a prep-time meeting with him I learned his sign skills could have been generously labeled NOVICE level. I was MORE than a little angry. I was on the video conference with the Big Boss politely stating I do not need a bodyguard as much as I need an interpreter. Aunt Meg peeked in the office and suggested I take her mom. Turns out back in the day MeeMaw was an Army Nurse who served in Germany. She signs AND is fluent in "High" German. Not sure if the boss or I was more surprised with this. He tested her German skills and was impressed.

 Two days later, we said farewell to Meg and PawPaw. Then MeeMaw, Mr. Minder, and I headed off to Berlin. I have to admit, I was a little nervous about this trip it is my first REAL big time "solo" project for the firm. Everyone else is busy on other projects. Having MeeMaw along was oddly comforting. Three days of meetings and everything is back on track. Big Boss was very happy emailing me BEFORE I could send him my report. I guess people in Berlin were impressed.

 

 The business trip also afforded me the opportunity to make a side trip to Leipzig. My doctor has been urging me for fresh MRI and Cat scans of the tissue/nerve damage to my throat. I thought long and hard about ditching my minder and sprinting down to the medical center with MeeMaw. I EVEN BOOKED THE CAR! The thought of another round of pity the boy looks from Mr. Minder was NOT what I needed. I had the keys in my hand, and thought of how disappointed Zahir would be with me. No, the last thing I needed was a repeat of the incident in Kiev. I fessed up to Mr. Minder and handed him the keys. The look of relief on his face was priceless. He was so grateful he let me drive for a stretch on the A9 between Berlin and Leipzig. He handled the city portions. It was so "LIT" no speed limit! I got the BMW 118I over 200 KPH (about 125 MPH). The car was rated to go faster but I didn't feel comfortable too far beyond the two century mark.

 The tests went well and the doctor put me on a diet, medication, and exercise regiment to prepare me for the procedure. He has a partner with his practice who will perform a revision on the scar tissue on my neck. MeeMaw sat in with me and asked questions I NEVER would have thought of. Still I would have preferred if Z was there with me.

 

 Mr. Minder (Abasi) and I put MeeMaw on a jet back to the States. Boss gave her a huge bonus and asked if she would like to freelance from time to time. I am sure he was being polite. That said he has surprised me in the past.

 

 Back in London. One of my presurgical "exercises" is being silent as much as possible. For a guy who can only talk 30-50 minutes TOTAL per day, it is far more difficult than it "sounds." It is going to be a long month, then a long recovery.

Zahir comes home tomorrow, I am expecting passionately mad snuggles to make his boy feel better. 

Christopher

Full Circle

 Longtime readers of my blog will know, Zahir and I met when I was doing the books for my foster family's ranch. It was an agricultural subsidiary of the company we work for. Now like a good Muslim spouse, I am managing the home in addition to my work with him. His mother says I'm doing better than her other daughters-in-law. It's weird since I married her son, our relationship has changed, in many ways she has become more like my mentor. Thankfully we are also friends. Thanks also to her I have become a far better cook. Not much of a joke, I used to burn water. Z is no longer ashamed of me when I cook for our clients and guests.

 One of the older brother's family has moved in with Mama in our old compound. The other wives and kids are now enjoying Mama and my garden. With Zahir and I now gone, the threatening phone calls have stopped both at the compound and at the home office in Amman. I am grateful she is safe and cared for. I would not survive her being lost because of me. I cannot live through that again.

 My readers will also know that Z has no concept of what makes up the middle-class. In his world, middle-class means some people make more than him and others less. His face was so cute when I informed him that the middle class in the U.S. is from roughly $48,000 to $145,000 annually. His reply, "I spent more than fifty on your baby (Kaeleb the dog) this year!" Yes, he did. Then I explained to Zahir the middle-class can vary wildly from state to state in the U.S.

 

Side Note: One person recently asked what happened to the rest of the pack? The outdoor dogs went back to his brother's security firm. Kaeleb's surviving brother went to an American client's daughter. She will be very safe for many years to come.

 The nail in his "I am middle class" argument's coffin was when I showed him how much his G550 costs to fly each year. For those interested in purchasing a private jet, it comes out to almost three million a year. In many ways acquisition is the cheap part. On that topic, he has found a "temporary" home for his G550. He is not happy he thinks it's too far away. I am sure it was no accident but it's the same airport used by the skydiving club we joined. Still, it is less then an hour away by car, or ten minutes by London Heli Shuttle plus the twelve minute ride from the flat to the London heliport.  The Heli Shuttle even has a limo service that picks us up at our flat. Things moved way too fast in London. I am sure I will acclimate soon.

 

 He says when  the London City Airport adds more hangars we will move his bird there. Then there are his friends he calls "hangar whores" and "lounge sluts." I try not to read those terms TOO literally. Those are friends who like a free seat on a private jet to anywhere fun. when you factor in ALL of the costs and fees, on average the flights in the G550 are about $4,000 an hour. When I pointed out how much cheaper commercial flights would be, he replied, "Do you think British Airlines would let me fly their jet?" He said it sweetly but it still felt like, "Shut up kid." The jet is his dream, how can I step on it. It is also nice to be treated like a royal when we travel.

 I try to understand his world, and each time I think I have a handle on it he blows my mind again. Between working and keeping the home "well-ordered," I don't have a lot of free time. Part of keeping the home well-ordered is handling the staff issues. I pay the salaries and make sure the benefits are taken care of. It is so odd having people older than me calling me sir with such respect. All those new duties mean I don't write as much. For me it's a good trade. For my readers not so much. 

 

 We went to an Arabic dance club near our neighborhood. It was right across the street from MI6 (no, James Bond did not appear). I was about to order a vodka martini stirred anticlockwise. Those who actually read Fleming's Bond series of books would get the joke. Before I could attempt my joke order, Z ordered me something sweet and fruity, virgin of course. My honey was very well-received, I was not. As usual I disappeared into the background. I am use to that, Zahir is the sun that lights whatever world he is in.  

 

 Good news, my leash was recently temporarily extended. He let me go out of the building (ALONE) and across the street to the Black Cab Coffee Company to interview a soon to be new member of the staff. Her father requested a public meeting place for our interview. She is our new housekeeper. She comes from a good Jordanian family, and is hoping to be a nurse. Best of all she understands my fingers. It's good for me as well, it will keep me fresh on Levantine Arabic Sign Language. I did tell her ours is a Bedu home, and Zahir prefers to use Arabic with the staff. She relaxed big time when I told her that I was Zahir's spouse, NOT just his boy. It turns out she has a Scottish girlfriend, Z knew this but failed to tell me. I felt like I was walking on eggshells till then, what a relief.

 

 The best part is she does not speak our dialect of Bedu. I can understand it, but I do not have the vocal range to reply. It is a subtle language for a subtle people. A simple change in inflection of one word can completely change the meaning of a sentence. Zahir tries to ask simple yes or no questions when he uses it with me.

 

[Update: We gave her the official word lastnight. Z took her around the flat showing her where all my EpiPens are stored. No scorpions in this country (that I know of) but they do have bees. After Z verified that I explained the terms of her employment, I showed her where I like everything stored. I'm the queen of this castle. Her eyes damn near bugged out when I showed her the housekeepers' quarters. Our staff is always well cared for.]

 

 Things are going well, though we are traveling a lot. Zahir always makes time for me. We have started a new evening tradition with our stroll along the Thames. He's finding walking parks we can stroll around in. It's not my garden in Amman, but they are green. For now he is keeping me in Nine Elms and Vauxhall. LONDON IS HUGE!!!! He says he's afraid of letting me go further until I get my voice repaired. I guess we'll see, after all he's only lied to me the once. For the record, there was a very good justification for that one. 

 

BONUS: Officially THIS is Zahir's LEAST favorite sculpture!

 

It is called "Modern Marriage" and rests [I have been informed the proper term is "it is installed"] just up the road from our flat. 

[I kinda like it.]

 

 Zahir will be putting me back in driving school. He says once I have my voice I will need to be able to navigate in our new domain. I think her majesty may have issues with his choice of words.

Chris [aka Chase]

Still Living, Still Changing, Still Challenging.

 We are settling in the new office in London. I have been vaccinated against the dreaded COVID-19. On arrival Zahir played a "funny" joke on me. We took a cab and headed into a place called King's Cross. We stopped in front of this narrow barge like boat and he announced, "We are home!" 

 When I tell you it was small, I felt HUGE inside it. The bedroom section barely fits a full size bed. I guess I got used to being able to spread out. I was missing the house in Amman. When I forced to smile Z saw right through me. "Baby this is temporary. It is just until the new flat is fitted for you." Then he told me it was just joke and only for two nights.

 

 The next morning we went and toured the new flat in Nine Elms. We can see the U.S. Embassy from the master. It is in walking distance. We have everything in walking distance. This was a mandatory item for Zahir. When I work from home, I stay in the flat. If I need anything during the day, I have to go through the concierge and it is brought to me. I miss being able to escape to my garden in Amman. I know he is all about "Baby's" safety, after all that is why we left Jordan. Still it is lonely.

 

 The threats when he came out were bad enough. Then there was the coup attempt. To say that the Bedu love their king is a monumental understatement. I have no doubt that if the foreign backed coup was "successful" Jordan would have fallen into open civil war. I know Z is not happy having to move, but I know he would move the earth to keep me safe.

 

 Then came the big surprise. When he opened the door, I realized it was an apartment that I re-designed on paper three months ago. Back then it was made to appear that I was dealing with the most vague client in the world. I was given a spec sheet and a basic floor plan. Our boss told me, "He wants you to just make it smashing! Strip it to the studs and rebuild. Let yourself go!" 

 

 There is a private guest suite for his mother when she visits. Z says that will be often. I am still rushing to fully unpack, my Aunt Meg, Meemaw and Pawpaw will be visiting in a few weeks. In July we will be going to  meet with another surgeon, this time in Leipzig, Germany. Yes, Zahir has found me a new therapist who I see once a month or as needed. 

 

 I pass by Buckingham Palace and Hyde park to attend church. Zahir and I have joined a gym, a skydiving club, and a few business organizations. "It is all about the connections Baby." I seam to recall he said something similar when he and the Boss pushed (guided) me into accreditation.

 

 My sweet Kaleeb traveled with us and was in health isolation for a few weeks. I do not know how much paperwork Zahir had to do to bring my baby, but I am grateful. We got to see him daily while he was in lockup. We have chosen a dog walker who has experience with Malinois. Arba'ah's company vetted her thoroughly that alone took three weeks. She is a university student studying chemical engineering. I have offered to help out if she needs it. She picks Kaleeb up from me at the office or the flat. Z doesn't want me out on my own in this city."We are new here. You cannot even call-out for help." I know he is worried for my safety but this is a bit over the top. In time he will mellow.

 
 This is the second country I've lived in outside the United States. It is so different from Amman that I'm having no small measure of culture shock. Still the people are welcoming and nice. The dampness is causing a problem, I am silent more often than not.

 

 That has brought up another issue, I am going to have to learn another sign language. British Sign Language is greatly different from ASL. The sign for mute drawing the tips of your index and middle fingers to your lips. Zahir teases me saying it looks like I am asking for a smoke.

 

 I have tried to use the glove based speech translator. It is not well received, so I will muddle through and adapt. My big goofy guy says we will learn together and he will be my voice. He can read my fingers when I use ASL and Levantine Arabic Sign Language (LASL).

 

 Some would ask why bother to learn BSL? We have on occasion had a deaf client and it was I who became Zahir and the Boss's voice. We are living in Great Britain it would be wrong and rude to force MY language upon them. Finally, experience has proven there will be times when I have to speak for myself.

 

 Our German, Dutch, and British clients are over the moon that we opened the new office, even if Brexit does muck up the works a bit. We will start crossing the Atlantic to consult with our American (North, Central, and South) clients.

The Bullies Won...

 It has been decided we will be leaving Jordan. However opening a design bureau in the U.S. has been ruled out by the company's owner. He is concerned with the short term political and economic uncertainties facing the United States at this time.

 

 If I were if I were a betting man, like the big guys! I would be leaning towards the UK, Spain, or Germany. So other than the fact that we are leaving, everything else is uncertain right now. Zahir is not happy but he's putting a brave face on in front of me. 

Chase