Confessions - What a night...

Told you before I am Presbyterian (PC-USA). In the great march of time, ours is a wicked young sect of the Christian faith. We often speak of how Christ met (and genuinely loved) people where they were, regardless of their acts or situation. Focus on the lost one, not the why of the loss.

Z did something odd last night. He held me, that is it, he just held me. After posting last night I stayed up for a half hour writing on one of the fantasy stories I am developing. I don't sleep well at night, never have. Four hours is the norm, maybe a catnap during the day. Part of me wonders if that is due to the few emergency re-homings that happened in the middle of the night, or if I am just wired this way.

Most folks think I wear colored contacts. In fact, a boy I liked (a lot) dumped me cause he thought I was lying. If he was worried about me lying about that, I consider it to be good riddance at this point, although it broke my heart at the time. My eyes have a thick dark outer ring. Inside that ring is a field of pale green. Z says the color and my reddish brown hair caught his eye.

When I came back to bed and he was awake. He read what I said in almost real time. He pulled me into a tight hug. He swept the hair off my face and explained his picture. He told me he loved my eyes, but he also loved what was behind them. He said he was frightened of what can happen when I realize my potential. Yesterday, when I told him I saw myself at his side, I touched him. He said it was something HE never saw coming. He added that he has had other "boys" but THEY got bored, grew tired of HIM and left. He never imagined one would stay (and people say I have abandonment issues).

He said his picture was the boy he met three years ago. "... you had a fierce courage, but you expected failure, and yet you still kept trying. THAT is what I see as amazing." He reminded me of a night (a few months back) he and his boss were working on a project, but the computer model kept failing. I glanced at the screen and saw the flaw in the equation (MathBoy). They laughed and plugged in the variable I suggested. They stopped laughing when it worked. A week later I became Z's intern.

My skin is a little too thin. The way he sees me is sweet. He pointed out something I missed. We both saw MathBoy with a red cape... We fell asleep holding each other.


Back in a week or so.
Chase